DON'T PAY AT THE PUMP

Wow, a week has past without the inspiration to write. I have been "getting through." I have this " I will land on solid ground when...." attitude. I will be good when I start my new job, when I get my new house, when my parent's come and go back home. Getting through is not living in the present, nor is it a place where I practice gratitude.

My parent's just left. They came for my son's 5th grade graduation. Holy smokes...it's quite the production. I have a "parental hangover" as my dear friend calls it. My inner 12 year old feels a bit judged. At 47 you would think I would be over needing my parent's approval. Guess again. It's evidence that I am currently not spiritually fit. So, I decided I would be grateful for qualities I like in them.

My Dad loves to stay in B&B's. He is probably the most social person I know. He creates friendship and connectedness where ever he goes. When they departed, my father had gathered a number of emails from his "new friends" at the Inn. One couple will be passing though my home town and they are invited to stop by. That is how I was raised. Both my parent's have done volunteer work since I can remember.

My father is an inspiration. He lives his life truly connecting with people. He acknowledges others and makes them feel listened to and affirmed. I could go on and on giving you examples of how he creates connections, but I will just give you one...as I am exhausted. I will do a more heart-filled tribute to my father some other time.

He doesn't pay at the gas pump. He feels that the person inside behind the counter might like a friendly smile and a quick hello. I like this philosophy. We can go about our lives without making contact with the people who are right in front of us. So often I see people on their phones when they are in the grocery line. How about hanging up and acknowledging that someone is being of service to you?

Last week I drove by a lemonade stand. The little children were waving their hands in the air saying "Please stop, please stop."  I drove by like I usually do. Then...I turned around. There was an opportunity to create some joy. I got out of the car and they started screaming "She's coming, she's coming." It felt good.

My challenge to you is to ask yourself "what can I do to acknowledge and connect with others today?" Enjoy the beauty surrounding you.

MAXI PADS ON THE PUFF

Today this post is a collaborate event. It's the Birthday of our marvelous, beautiful, creative, spiritual, gorgeous, phenomenal, joyful, heartful, loving friend that you might know as "work in progress." We are called Dark Secret. The four of us went to college together many moons ago. 27 years to be exact.

We shared the passage into adulthood. We are lucky to still have each other all these years later. We email at least once a day, if not more. Before our visual token of love...we just want to highlight a few of our times together:

Our dorm floor was always playing practical jokes on one another. One day, as our birthday girl was walking up the stairs to her room, she spots a fluffy white thing in the parking lot.  "Look at that poor girls car....they have put maxi pads over the entire vehicle." She says.  Dear friend...that would be your car. From then on the car was called Puff. She was never the same, as the adhesive strips were dog gone hard to get off. We traveled in Puff. We slept in Puff. However, I don't think anyone had "relations" in puff.

We have so many adventures that we could share. We did lip sync in a "disco" bar to a Joan Armatrading song "I love it when you call me names" We were dressed in leather sporting whips. We did not win. What a surprise.

This is for you our friend. The woman with a soul deeper than the ocean...utterly intelligent and beautiful. She who makes us smile, laugh until we cry and shares healing words and wisdom. May this day be the best day ever...and every day have magic!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!

PLEASE blog hop to writingmywaysober.blogspot.com to see more on the maxi pad girl and friendship. Today's post is about "Dark Secret.

WISH HER A HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

THE EASY BUTTON

"Our lives are not as limited as we think they are; the world is a wonderfully weird place; consensual reality is significantly flawed; no institution can be trusted, but love does work; all things are possible; and we all could be happy and fulfilled if we only had the guts to be truly free and the wisdom to shrink our egos and quit taking ourselves so damn seriously." — Tom Robbins

A good Tom Robbin's quote can always move me to the right or the left of my current mindset. Years ago I stood in line at a book signing for 3 hours. I was hoping I could convince him to have coffee with me. How delightful it would have been to watch his creative mind in action.

I am sitting here having a Starbuck's Via coffee thingys. The are less than yummy, but I NEEDED some caffeine. "I want it now!" I considered just ingesting the powder. The weather sucks! It's been raining and cold for days on end. The temperature is hovering at 43 degrees today. My iphone weather app is telling me we are in for more of the same. I moved here 10 years ago for the sunshine.

I started a new job on Monday and I am in one of those "chaos clouds." My mantra has been "Oh my god...I can't handle this...there is too much happening." That leads to me watching 5 hours of television on the couch. I admit it, that is what this chick did last night. I am also suffering from PVS (post vacation syndrome.) On the bike trip I didn't have to deal with daily reality. Then I come back and my world was/is going 100 miles an hour.

I am taking myself too seriously. How utterly exciting that I get to be in this world fully. I decided that instead of saying that I am over-whelmed with anxiety, I would tell myself that "I am tickled with anticipation."  I learned a long time ago that I can not exist in the "I will be happy when...." space. I opened a book today and what was the quote: "I have learned, in whatsoever state I am in, therewith to be content" -Saint Paul.

I am grateful that my "challenges" are those with great growth potential. I need to stop and be mindful of this. My friend has an "EASY" button from Staples. Have you seen those commercials? I can choose to press that button or make a big hairy deal out of everything.

I have today. I have a choice to live in the present moment and give thanks for what I have. I think today my thank you letter will be to the universe for the blessings it has been showering on me.

What is your mantra and does it need tweaking?

On the thank you note front, as a daily practice it's harder than I thought. I am 4 letters behind. However my motivation continues because I have had beautiful responses to the notes that I have sent.

I am going out to buy the damn button.

GLASSES AND MUGS

"If you look to others for fulfillment,

you will never be truly fulfilled.

If your happiness depends on money,

you will never be happy with yourself.

Be content with what you have;

rejoice in the way things are.

When you realize there is nothing lacking,

the whole world belongs to you.

-Lao Tzu

I am blah. I started a new job today and I am over-whelmed. After this I am going to send my inner child upstairs to take a bath and sip some tea. Water heals. It soothes me. But, before I do that, I am going write about gratitude. It is proving to be a powerful vehicle of change in my life. Holy smokes I tell you. 

I facilitated a group on gratitude yesterday. One gentleman shared a story. He was instructed to write down 30 things he was grateful for. He thought that was insane. "There is no way." he replied "Well", said his friend, "You can see can't you?" "Yes" said the man. "Can you dance, can you sing, can you smile at a stranger?"  "Yes." "Well, how about that list?" Then he was off to the races. He shared a sweet and simple story about glasses and mugs. He had gone to the second hand store the day before to get...well, glasses and mugs. He brought them home, set them on the window sill and admired them in the sunshine....and he felt grateful.  I could feel the warmth of the sun and the rays going through the glasses. As silly as this sounds, the thought of that made me happy. So many moments can pass us by that could bring us great joy. (The mugs were obviously upstaged by the glasses.)

My post today feels soft and warm....like my soon to be bath. Look around and see if something can help you melt into gratitude.

BRUISES ON MY BUTTOCKS

"(Appreciation) makes immortal all that is best and most beautiful.....It exalts the beauty of that which is beautiful....It strips the veil of familiarity form the world, and lays bare and naked sleeping beauty, which is in the spirit of its forms." Percy Bysshe Shelley

I just got back from my 5 day/4 night mountain biking trip. Let me tell you....I am bruised from head to toe. My buttocks looks like I could have been involved in some S&M activity. When I gave you my list of what was in the back of my car last week, it was mostly sports stuff. Here's the deal. I, by no means am a super athlete. I go out and give it my girl scout try, often ending up wounded, black and blue. I also would much prefer a fancy hotel to the hard surface of the earth. My air mattress deflated many times during the night.It was up...it was down. It was up...it was down. Why I kept filling it, lord only knows.  I had to go potty at 4am but the bathrooms were a long-long ways away. The second day I decided that dehydration was a good option. The wind blew 45 miles per hour when we were setting up our tents. A number of children surrendered to the weather and just slept outside. We were rained/snowed out of a day of biking and it was freezing cold much of the time. That doesn't sound fun, does it?

But no....it was fabulous. Why? It was all about community. 50 people ( mostly middle school kids) were able to gather together and make it a journey of connectedness. We laughed hysterically at all the challenges. People were kind and loving to each other.

I cried when I drove away. It was like leaving summer camp, just like last year. I became close to a number of women and because we were together all the time, we created beautiful bonds. I long for community. I hunger for it. In our day and age of busyness and the world whirling around us, I think we don't have connectedness as much as we would like. I believe that is why the blogging world is so big. It creates a sense of connectedness and people speak from their place of truth.  I have heard many women say "I don't have that many friends." One woman...who I really enjoyed, asked me to be her friend when the trip was over. I loved it! It's like being a child in the sandbox. As kids we somehow could just ask people to play with us. I think as adults we are afraid to just say "I like you. Be my friend damn it."

I am grateful. My heart feels open. I am sitting here with my thank you notes addressed, ready to tell the people that I engaged with what I like about them. It feels a little risky. I don't know why. Maybe because I wonder how they will receive it.

One of the top characteristics of happy people is that they connect with others. Individuals who "make new friends and keep the old" tend to live more fulfilling lives. One of the reasons I decided to embark on this journey of gratefulness (the human acknowledgment project) is that gratitude is one of the paths to happiness.

I would encourage you to look around and see who you might want to befriend. Ask them for a play date. Every new person brings with them gifts....and you to them. Have a beautiful day and also give thanks for the people in your life who bring your joy each day.   

CREATIVE RAINBOW MOTHER GOES CAMPING

"Memory is a way of holding on to the things that you love, the things that you are, the things that you never want to lose."
Kevin Arnold

I will start by telling you what kind of mother I am. I was reading in Christiane Northrup's book :Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom about Mothering, the hardest job in the world. She referenced the author Lynn Andrew and her philosophy of the two kinds of mothers : The Earth Mothers and the Creative Rainbow Mothers. Earth Mothers nurture their children and feed them, and the Creative Rainbow Mothers tend meet their children's needs in a more non-traditional manner. I am a creative rainbow mother. I am not the kind of mom that volunteers at school weekly. Frequently my sons will say "Really Mom, are you serious?" I take on the big fun. I take on adventure. I make them boogie in kitchen while we cook. I taught them the importance of car dancing. I am a firm believer in taking them out of school for a "mental health day."....sometimes on the day of a test. I showed them how to ski backwards. Home schooling? I will leave that to the Earth Mothers. This brings me to today's post: Creative Rainbow Mother goes camping.

I am getting ready to leave on a week-long mountain biking trip with my son and his school. There is camping crap all over the house. My mind is running the chaos loop. I have lists for my lists. I cleaned out the back of my car to make way for the gear and here is what I carry with me: A cello, a bag of potting soil, cat food, ski outfits, puzzles for an art project, recycle bags for groceries, a long board, hiking boots, a yoga mat, bicycle tires, helmets for various sports and candy. Just like the contents of a women's purse can tell a story, so does the back of one's vehicle. I don't carry a purse.

I am posting today because I want to spend a few minutes pushing the F5 button. Isn't that refresh? Instead of obsessing on how much I have to do, I want to be grateful that I get to have this exciting experience. I get to spend time with my son in the great outdoors. Last summer we went to the Boundary Water's Canoe Wilderness Area for a 4 day tour. We paddled in the beauty of the great north woods and portaged into Clear Lake. We were the only people camped there for 2 nights. We saw NO ONE. The water was so clean...you could feel the purity. I can still taste it...I can feel it on my skin and I smile with the joy of the simplicity. I got to connect with my teen aged son in paradise. I grew up in Northern Minnesota and canoeing in the BWCA holds some of my fondest memories. It's the place that I feel at peace. We laughed and created stories that we will share forever. I posted a photo that my son took on our trip in "Say it."

I ventured to Fruita last year with the same school group. I came back bruised from head to toe. I flew over my handle bars into rocks and cacti. I am sure that I am brain damaged. My pinkie finger is still wounded. It was cold, it was wet and it was fun. When I left, it felt like I was leaving summer camp.

Tomorrow I leave on another adventure with the mountain bikes mounted on the car. I feel kind of cool with the bikes on the car. Last year the only picture I took was of the car.  I am grateful, so very grateful, that this will be another chapter in our connectedness.

I feel better now. I am now going to to have a lesson on putting up my tent.

TWO WOLVES

Two Wolves
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a
battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son,
The battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret,
greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment
Inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope,
serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence,
empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."
The grandson thought about it for a minute
and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

Feed your gratitude wolf today.

BE YOUR OWN HERO

"We are our own dragons as well as our heroes, we have to save ourselves from ourselves." Tom Robbins from Even Cowgirls Get the Blues


I had a magical birthday full of love, surprise and magic. I will share some inspiring stories in the next day or two. They are all swimming in my head, squirming to get out. Find something to giggle at today. 

THE RAINBOW CONNECTION

I just got back from my son's theater performance. It was the "dramaton." (which for me would be something that happens before my "womanly occasion.") Anyway...the kids sang songs for the end of the year competition. One darling child chose to sing the Kermit the Frog song" The Rainbow Connection." It brought tears to my eyes. What does this have to do with gratitude? It's that I was happy to experience this deep emotional state. It brought me back to the joys of being young and the fun of the Muppet Show. Today, I share Kermit with you.

Why are there so many songs about rainbows
and what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
and rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it.
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

Who said that every wish would be heard
and answered when wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that and someone believed it.
Look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us star gazing
and what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

All of us under its spell. We know that it's probably magic.

Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that called the young sailors.
The voice might be one and the same.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it.
It's something that I'm supposed to be.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.