FIFTY

I have my fiftieth thank you note addressed and ready to write and debating if I embarrass myself. Here is the story:

Earlier this week I noticed an unpleasant odor in my house. Step One: Take out the garbage. Step Two: Clean out the refrigerator. Step Three: Examine the garbage disposal. Damn it's still there. It was a mysterious scent and I couldn't put my finger on it. Step Four: Parade neighbors through. It's fairly entertaining to watch people walk around the house sniffing everything and trying to put a label to the aroma. I have used odor, scent and aroma...but the truth is...it was an awful over-whelming stink.

By the 3rd day I was beginning to feel less than ideal. My body hurt, my head ached and my eyes burned. Late Saturday night I decided I would call X-cel energy. The fellow came over in a speedy 3 hours, arriving at midnight. He told us wasn't a gas or carbon monoxide problem and he had never smelled anything like it. Great. Off we went to sleep elsewhere.

The next morning it was worse. The smell bowled you over when you walked through the door. Being a titch mellow dramatic, I had a bit of a breakdown. (God why me? sort of scene.) Who do I call now? It was Sunday...who do you call? I made an inquiry to the fire department. They told me they would come but I had to call 911 to dispatch them out. They came and searched my condo from top to bottom. It appeared that the odor was concentrated in my boy's room. The challenge there, is that it looks like I could be on an episode of hoarders. However, nothing is organized into categories. I think that is what hoarders do..yes? The closet was piled HIGH with clean and dirty clothing. My cleaning people tend to throw all the stuff on the floor in their room in the closet. (side note: I give up eating dessert to have others clean my bathrooms for me....thus the decadence of others throwing crap in my closets.)

They departed. They did find something semi-dangerous attached to my condo units...so it wasn't a total waste.

The Firemen suggested that I close all the doors and see if we get any more clues to it's location. (4 days and I hadn't thought of that. I truly believe our mystery smell was compromising me.) Location: Boy's Room.

After sleeping some place other than home again....my son and I returned Monday morning to bravely attack the room from hell. We are moving in about a month...so it was a necessary evil any way. I threw bags and bags of old clothing, toys, papers and weird shit out. I drove to the donation box down the street 3 times. We were down smelling the carpet. Not a clue. The room is utterly organized but the room still smells. The only thing left is the back pack on the chair. That's right. It's in the pocket of the pack. One moldy orange peel from who knows when. It was green and pungent it was MOLD. Holy shit. How could something that small permeate an entire household.

This brings me back to the thank you card. Do I write station #5? Do I look like a wacky woman? "Hey firemen...I am the girl that calls 911 for a moldy orange peel. Thank you for the fun Sunday afternoon." We all know the answer is yes.

The silver lining is that we are packed and ready to rock and roll.....and I have recovered 20 pairs of socks. That is no lie...20.